IOWA!

I made it up safely, had to make a couple of pit stops since I drank 5 gallons of unsweet tea before leaving. Sadly, each stop delayed me in getting to have a nice tasty Bud Select. Now That I'm here I've been working hard at finding some way to make my Sally co-workers shine. You see they're a good bunch, but not quite the stallion IT like I am. So I like to set them up with things to make them look good.

Oh crap, well I'll have to cut this entry short. I just burst a bag of cheetos and now there is dust everywhere. I gotta get this place cleaned up before the wife gets home. She won't be happy if she sees I've gotten Cheeto dust all over myself and the couch.

Bunch of Nellys

So it's Wednesday night, and that clearly means Team Fortress 2 at 9:00 with the puny opposition I like to call my coworkers. I mean, I mostly do it for them 'cause I get no thrill out of being on the handle end of the knife all night long, week after week. In fact we started unbalancing the teams just to make things a little more fair, you know, give someone else that fleeting sensation of superiority for a change. After a while it ended up like Chuck Norris vs The World. Still, we have a good time.

So I log on to our private server and there's no one there. It's cool. Maybe those Sallys can't afford watches that keep time. So I wait. It's like 9:15 then 9:30, then 10:00! And I'm getting bored just waiting for 'em. So what do I do? I decide to get the best practice of all. Randy versus Randy.

That's right. I load up TF2 on my other computer, side-by-side with my main computer, one hand on each keyboard, and I play with myself. It's the best practice of all. No way to surprise myself -- it's pure strategy. It's like chess with sniper rifles.

Finally midnight rolls around, and those Nellys never had the courage to show their faces. It's cool; I know I'm uber and folks get intimidated. It's just human nature. Just that I can't stand these Nellys not letting me know they stood me up.

Unfortunately I get in this morning to find out I'd been on the wrong server all night. It's cool. I know my proximity to human perfection would have to reach a limit someday. But that's the only mistake I get to make all year, so I've got to hang tight until New Year's. No more mistakes, Kearn-y, old boy! You're on notice!

I love my wife.

Today I got a visit from the pony express. They had a package for me, it was from the Mrs. Randy Kearn. Curiosuly I opened it up. Inside was a life-alert . Since my wife works out of town, she's been very good about keeping me safe. Its tough to keep this stallion tame, and sometimes accidents happen.

Now she can work soundly knowing that with Life alert someone is watching me.

Preparing to rock

Before I start todays post let me give a PSA:

When eating mass quantities of cheetohs, make sure you wash your hands before handling special items. Let's just say I made a bathroom run, and I've got Orange cheetoh dust in places it doesn't belong. :(

Moving on, today I called in sick. It's really an injury though. I was reminiscing of times past last night, and I decided to crack open a trusty old friend, the natty light can. Well, in my excitement to open the can, I somehow cut my finger. This my friend is a level 3 alert, and a reminder of why its much safer to drink Bud Select. Even now as I write this in my baby blue terry cloth robe, I am enjoying the tasty goodness. See unlike the can, I can safely open the Bud Select, by firmly inserting the bottle into the robe and twisting. Needless to say I took time off, to heal my finger, and give my Sally co-workers a chane to show that they know a lil' something about IT.

Never fear though, with all this time at home healing my pinky. I've had plenty of time to work up some strategy for tonight's tf2 session. Human Torpedo, you're mine tonight. Infact I see pure ownage from this stallion tonight.

GIDDY Up!

Pro-Tip: Always walk with keys.

Every now and then a "Stallion" such as myself will have a gaffe. I was grilling half a cow to eat with my keg of bud select a few weeks ago. Of course I was multi-tasking busting up enemy ships in eve, throwing out some bullets with the heavy in tf2, while watching the Sarah Connors Chronicles.

Right now my grill is outdoors on my deck, away from all my other activities, a situation I'd like to correct one day(with a proper exhaust can I bring my weber charcal master indoors?). So, this means I have to stop the serious business of gaming to go check on my meat. No biggy, I at the very least can keep chugging the natural select. I head outside to my deck and I accidentally latch the lock. As soon as it happened, i realized I had a problem. I wasn't gonna be able to get back in to finish my gaming.

Well, I figured screw that, I got some Sallys to knock down and I'm not gonna let a door lock get in my way. So I finish off the pint of beer I brought outside with me, and decide to shim down the side of my deck. Great plan it seemed in my head, but great execution it was not. I learned quickly that a 10 foot drop on one's back is not nice.

Ah well, I was able to get back in, get my meat off the grill, and down the rest of my keg of beer. If I was a sally, I might of just gone inside and went to bed.

Ownership has its privledges

I just can't be stopped in tf2. Everyweek I anticipate some competition, every week I get a bunch of Judys. Oh wait, what's a Judy you ask? A Judy is a back-stabbing Sally. I'm talking real slimy, the kind of irritant that makes me put down the Bud Select and concentrate. You see when I concentrate its on like Donkey Kong, think of it like this. Michael Jordan against a bunch of high-schoolers. Yeah that's right. That's me.

This Judy claims next week, I won't get him. I laugh at his face heartily.

I have a confession

I love horses... There I said it.

There is no denying my admiration for the equine animal. Nothing Sally about a horse. My horse and I are an award winning combo punch. Just this last weekend, I showed up with my trusty steed at a horse show, they weren't so sure if they should even judge the other horses, since my horse was that awesome. I told them its ok, we have time, pretend to give the other horses a good look-over. We wouldn't want the other horse owners to turn into Sallys, since my horse has no competition.

Speaking of Sallys, I've been going to the gym with some of my co-workers, whom I thought were not of the Sally variety. But I was sadly mistaken, the little one of the group has decided my glorious gun show was too much for him. I guess it wasn't a good idea to bench press him yesterday.

Building Servers

You know how Darth Vader can use the force to move things with his mind. Translate that to IT and you have the equivalent of me with computers. Scripting, Automation, and xml error finding. Yeah I got that.

Now the question is, should I teach my non-sally co-workers? Like Obi-Wan taught Anakin?

A Real Randy Lunch

After working on making the gun show the best in town, I've decided to hang out with my co-workers at lunch today. Would you believe these Sallys wanted to eat a salad? When i walked up to the counter and asked for a meal that a man with guns like mine needs. They gave me a double hamburger, cooked rare. This sandwich is what a non-sally man eats. filling, and full of tasty red meat. Sadly, this particular restaurant only had Sally drinks. So I settled on an Iced Tea.

I've made some changes to my blog, this should accurately show you the moods of this country boy. Notice I have no sally-emotions.

Giddy up!

New Beer for Me

I've enlightened to the sweet sweet product that is Bud Select. Rich goodness of this product has made me realize that there is a frosty brew heaven. I must say, feel like I've been missing out, since I unfairly avoided the Bud Select.

This bud's for me.

Enough Sappy stuff, last night was tf2 night and heads rolled like the gun of my heavy character. While my Sally team-mates went down left and right, the Heavy kept rolling. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had some competition.

Performance Enhancing Drugs

I was gettnig ready to hop on EVE the other night, and I started my browser which defaults to msn.com. On this page I saw a headline about some Sally Baseball player who was caught taking performance enhancing drugs. First thing that came to my mind was, WHATEVER. As I stated yesterday I started working out yesterday, primarily on my chest, shoulders, and triceps.. I don't see a need for any performance enhancing drugs outside of a good case of natty light.

When I feel the intense burn of a good rep, I just reach for a can of natty light and the burn goes away. This my friends is better then any human growth hormones or steroids. These Sallys probably can't handle the sweet goodness that is natty light.

Enough said about this subject.

TL:DR More Natty light, less illegal drugs

Perfect Horse except for one thing...

This my friends would be perfect, if this was a hose connected to a keg of natty light. Horses need to have a good time too.

Giddy Up!

I got one more night before its time for me to bring the big dawg out. All the sallies I play TF2 with better beware.

Stroke of Genius

You didn't think I'd only post about my hobbies.I do work too and I've been known to discover a few tricks or two.

Did you know in IIS 7.0 that if you edit a subsite configuration, that the subsite will never inherit the master configuration unless you go through by hand and edit the applicationhost.config file? Well now you know this.

I had to school one of my Sally co-workers on this.

Giddy-Up!

Bulking up.

I heard a rumor that natty light is going be coming in a new large 72oz can. Yeah buddy! I've forgone eating my normal carrots and lunchtime tea at work to go get a good work-out on so I can be ready to take that 72oz of pure natty light goodness down.

You know what, I got jazzed a bit at work by some haters who think that by me skipping lunch to workout and generate some hunger is a sally manuever. Well we'll see who's laughing when this country boy takes down the new natty light.

Catching Up

Due to my travels to Iowa, gaming, and hitting the natty light, I didn't have time to update outside of my twitter account. It was also mother's day, while it was hard to put down the ps2 controller, I did take time to call and wish happy mother's day to all the moms in my life.

On the topic of beers today, some fellas at lunch tried to push some Sally brew called Shock Top to me. I told these sallies wheat beer is gross and is certainly the beer for a Sally-minded individual. I'll take my natty light over any beer, certainly over some stewed celery tasting like product. Blech.

Well, its hard to admit this, the wife had me try some new blueberry flavored beer, and I loved every bit of it. Blueberry is manly right? Its found in the woods where manly men hunt. so I think blueberry flavored beer should be ok. I also had some brunch with the wife. She promises some new Pokemon cards if i continue to try new things.

Giddy Up!

What to do.

I had a thought, in trying to get to my nirvana, of beer drinking, horse riding, and gaming. I think I am gonna go buy a PSP. This combo punch might provide me with enough time to have my fun and get my wife's laundry done.

Normally cutting the grass doesn't leave enough time for all three. Let alone the laundry which is of most importance, because I don't want to get the lady mad.

Giddy up...

The Most Interesting Man!?

I was at home watching Battle Star Galactica, and saw the commercial for this Sally Product, Dos Equis. They seem to think that high society makes you interesting. Thats full of crap, first off a real non Sally, knows that interesting people drink natty light. Secondly, I think I got more personality on my mouse pad where I lay many to waste. let's see the Dos Equis man Dominate his friends in a friendly round of TF2.

I promptly turned the TV off. Cracked open some more Natty light.

Let me tell you a story

So while I wasn't posting I decided to get with fellas and go fishing. Yeah it was hard to peel away from the ranch and leave my level 99 Caldari agent in eve. But you know sometimes a man needs human contact.

So I decided to go. After the Natty lights were cracked open, we decided to see who was king of the river. After a couple of brews I had to Sally out. Maybe next time.

I'm back

Sorry Y'all for the long hiatus. I've been busy travelling, gaming and drinking. I've discovered something new. Twitter. yeah this old country boy is getting high-tech now. You can follow me at therealrandy.

Giddy up Sally!